Kinsale 2008

The word epic has been used in many a vaulted arena to describe events of great magnitude and displays of excellence. I think the word is sometimes overused however and its meaning is somewhat compromised as a result. In terms of the Kinsale 7’s, I don’t think ‘epic’ can quite describe the craic and banter that is part and parcel of the Kinsale experience. Preparations once again began in earnest in October of 2007 for the tour in May 2008 with myself and Simon ‘Le Bruise’ Norton discussing tactics, possible tourists and recalling days when the immortal words of Ian Lynam, ‘ stick it up the jumper’ echoed over the fields of Kinsale rugby club whilst playing the great Fijian master Waseli Serevi. With the accommodation booked it was simply a matter of getting a squad together to take on the might of teams with names like ‘Suzies Exiles’, ‘Marauders’, ‘Kooga Wailers’ and so forth.


It was decided early on to try and tap into a seasoned and distinguished group of players and allicadoos for this tour, with names like Norton, Geoghegan, Carrigy, Kenny and Moroney all making the cut. Soon after Christmas, the UCD Kinsale squad had been hand picked and was ready for another relaxing weekend in the beautiful surrounds of Kinsale enjoying exquisite seafood and ornithological expeditions.

It was decided this year that the easiest and most convenient way to get to Kinsale was to jump on board the Michael O’Leary jet liner to Cork and get taxis from there. This proved to be a brilliant way of avoiding the bank holiday traffic and travelling at 500mph staying well clear of any Garda speed traps.

The advance party landed into Kinsale around 1.30pm and undertook to register the UCD team and make sure that all preparations were in place. A minor confusion as to where we were staying was soon sorted and as each new batch of travellers arrived, the anticipation grew. Some of the experienced campaigners recalled the 70m maul while others discussed ‘fat face-itus’ which was a curious allergic reaction a former UCD captain suffered after taking a drink from his water bottle. Some of the new tour participants sat wide-eyed with the thoughts of such weird and wonderful experiences and hoped for something similar.

Thankfully, as is the way in Kinsale, on Saturday our first fixture was against potential competition favourites, the Marauders. This is an invitational side which is of superb talent and ideally suited to the game of sevens, however it was clear from the word go that they were not going to get it all their own way. Much to delight of the tour manager and the horror of a certain ‘Hans Blix’, Collidge decided that in order to negate the Marauder’s obvious pace advantage, we had to do something special…..with the ball in the Marauder’s half, Conor Geoghegan leading by example put the head down and one Jimmy Smith tied in and suddenly the main pitch of Kinsale RFC once again experienced the devastating effect of the UCD mauling game. As Wasali Serevi once said “I’ve been playing sevens 20 years and I have been all over the world and not once have I ever seen a maul.” The Marauders seeing that they couldn’t do much about this fierce tactic decided to force penalties out of Collidge and in the end they ran out deserving winners but not without getting into the spirit of the occasion and having a good laugh with us after the game.

Next came the ‘Stoned Pups’ who again are an invitational side but one, which we believed we could have a crack at. Collidge won the opening exchanges and it was a tense 2-3 minutes where our powers in the tight and their pace in the loose pretty much amounted to trench warfare with neither side really getting on top. The game broke in the 4th minute with Collidge on the back foot and the Stoned Pups forcing us to play a wide and expansive game which our pack clearly didn’t like. Herculian efforts by Arthur ‘Mush’ Houlihan and curious running styles of Fred ‘Weimar’ Gilligan did much to push the Stone Pups right to the end. This match was ill-tempered affair and one which the Pups were happy to walk away unscathed from!! And so ended our Saturday odyssey and we adjourned to the tent to find ways of ensuring Hans Blix could no longer raise his hands to object and also to learn the finer points of the Kinsale shuffle, which is dance manoeuvre employed in the raucous surrounds of the tent.

In the words of Simon ‘Le Bruise’ Norton, I could tell you what happened next but then I’d have to kill you!

Anyway as sure as night follows day, Sunday dawned and Collidge had the unenviable task of climbing the hill to the rugby club to play the Irish Seven’s side albeit in their disguise as a president’s selection!! After much discussion as what tactics to employ, a variation of the maul game was decided on. It was clear that from the off we had to ensure we won the hearts and minds of the crowd, “win the crowd and you just might win your freedom” was the philosophy. Thankfully, our fellow clubman Cian Aherne decided it would not be in the spirit of the game if he played against us and he sat back and watched as Collidge did what they do best when playing sevens, winning the collisions and the crowd!! We decided that pick and go tactics would be brilliant around the fringes and this was the plan adopted along with the now famous maul. From the off, Ireland conceded four consecutive penalties for bringing the maul down much to the delight of the crowd. Unfortunately we couldn’t capitalise on the pressure we were bringing on the Ireland team and they eventually took control of the game against a tiring collidge side. While the won the game we certainly won the crowd and there was much banter afterwards with spectators who had watched the game.

Our final game was against the TNT Irish Exiles which proved to be a crowning moment for us. Whilst we didn’t win the game, we did force referees to seriously think about the laws of the game! Again ruck and maul was the order of the day and some moments of magic by Gillicoko Gilligan only served to heighten the enjoyment. The walking lineout performed by Collidge is a moment I will not forget for a long time. The call of ‘HOLD, HOLD, HOLD, HOLD…’ by Colm ‘Giraffe’ Leahy will live long in the memory. When asked why we couldn’t do such a thing his response was ‘well….because….it doesn’t look right!’ We subsequently learned that the referees had a conference after our game and none knew exactly why what we did was wrong and it took consultation with a referee in Dublin via telephone to establish the reason for it! And so it seems Collidge like forcing the refs to think about the game at the philosophical level!!

So ended our competition beaten by the Irish exiles in a good natured and friendly atmosphere. While we didn’t win this year we did win the crowd and supporters. It is a credit to UCD and the players that every year, the organisers ask us to make sure we come back and participate in the Senior Competition. Collidge bring a unique brand of enjoyment and fun to the Kinsale Sevens, which is widely recognised even amongst the other teams. In another first, the referees decided we were such good sports that they gave us their allocation of drinks vouchers in appreciation of the spirit in which we took part. This just goes to show that the referees weren’t wrong when they gave us the best club award this season!

Sunday was another fantastic night out for the squad and we adjourned to Actons hotel for a few night caps and congratulatory songs. Once we returned to the guest house, sing songs were had and the craic continued into the small hours and everyone went to sleep with thoughts of walking lineouts, rolling mauls and Fred falling over for no apparent reason against the Irish exiles!

I would like to thank all of the lads who came to Kinsale his year, the mix of new and old was fantastic and the attitude displayed at all times during the weekend was a credit to the lads. Also to all the lads who made ‘guest’ appearances for us….you know who you are…

Once again UCD can be proud of its participation in the Kinsale epic that is and hopefully this tour continues long into the future. Only 363 days until Kinsale 2009!!!



The Kinsale Crew
Shane ‘the gaffer’ Geraghty
David ‘Han Blix’ Carrigy
Kevin ‘KK47’ Kenny
Fred ‘Weimar’ Gilligan
Tom ‘Robin’ O’Neill
Simon ‘Le Bruise’ Norton
James ‘Mr. World’ Montgomery
Joe ‘Slowkokoko’ Moroney
Arthur ‘the mush’ Houlihan
Jimmy ‘Trust me’ Smith
Vinny ‘Hamster’ Hammond
Jules ‘I can’t do this anymore’ Moroney
Conor ‘Bono’ Geoghegan
Daragh ‘Where’s Anto’ Geraghty
Brian ‘Warren’ Hall
Andrew ‘Rommel’ Whelan
Colm ‘Giraffe Ball’ Leahy
Neil ‘Fudge’ O’Driscoll

In Abstentia:
Peter ‘Gene Simmons’ Callanan
Seamus ‘I used to be dangerous’ Kiernan