UCD J4 vs Rathdrum
Promotion Playoff
Dr Hickey Park, Greystones
The 20th of March, the day a Triple Crown dream was crushed in the home of the GAA by a team who are supported by men in skirts. While many an Irish fan struggled to comprehend what had happened in Croke Park this Saturday evening a little soiree was in full swing in a drinking establishment on Leeson Street. To a passer by the singing and general banter that could be heard coming out of Hartigans Bistro Bar could well have been mistaken for delirious Scots celebrating their win. That couldn’t have been further from the truth, this celebration was in relation to events that had taken place earlier on this momentous day. To set the scene I must first take you back to the first Monday night session in January 2010 for our intrepid band of heroes the Super Fours. As the rain pelted down and the wind hammered the UCD Superdrome, 25 rugby players were getting their legs run off them under the watchful eye of W-Enda and Fred ‘Dom Perignon on the RFU’ Gilligan. As the session drew to a close, the players could barely crawl into the Bowl dressing rooms, but before they could rest their weary limbs, Enda ‘Mourinhno’ O’Connor called them into a huddle. It is said that this was the J4s very own turning point, ‘The price of success is hard work, dedication to the job at hand, and the determination that whether we win or lose, we have applied the best of ourselves to the task at hand.’, no regrets was the sentiment expressed, Willie added ‘If you train hard, you'll not only be hard, you'll be hard to beat.’ Enda hoarsely shouted through the cigarette smoke ‘we don’t lose after Christmas’. Now the Super Fours unfortunately stumbled at one hurdle vs an unbeaten DLSP, but apart from that they won everything from that wet night in January. This was why this reporter found himself in Greystones on the very morning Ireland was preparing to try win another Triple Crown. This scenic seaside town has produced some fantastic rugby players and some well known bankers, names like Paul McNaughton, Nick Popplewell, Mick Barton, Geoff ‘Seriously I’m an out half’ Sheehan and Seanie Fitzpatrick to name a few. So it was the main pitch in Dr Hickey that would host the Super Fours holy grail, some would say this was the result of 4 or 5 years hard graft. Collidge left no stone unturned in the build up for this occasion. Gilligan ensured he had no overseas commitments and had his PA clear his diary for the day. His freshly pressed chinos, brand spanking new dubes fresh out of the box and the famous UCD overcoat were all on show as he stepped onto the Greystones field with W-Enda also wearing matching overcoats ( Mr McClean I would be checking the gear store!!). All three looked nervous this was after-all their Everest, win this, and yes sir job done.
Now the Super Fours have always had a healthy squad and this day was no different 26 making the trip including a bunch of Academy U20 C starlets. Also notable on the sideline was the injured ‘Self proclaimed Star’ Ward and Tommy ‘Smurfit birds love me’ Breen who had mysterious knock on his knee. A couple of former J4 trait…(sorry I mean players who now play for the fours fellow junior side the J2) were also on the sideline offering there support. As has become habit Dave ‘Jedward’ Johnson was there proving to be the youngest UCD Alicadoo ever at 25, his current hair style though made need some work before entering into the worlds of the likes of ‘Super Alicadoo’ David Carrighy. As UCD warmed up, the men from Rathdrum arrived; we caught the Yoda Fat Cat Gilligan saying to Jonesy ‘The country is full of good coaches. What it takes to win is a bunch of interested players.’ We also heard him asking the groundskeeper where exactly could the helicopter land after the game, ‘did Seanie not land his here? ‘a rather perplexed Gilligan asked. Now come kick off the weather was perfect, the scene was set, 15 heroes wearing St Patricks Blue vs the Mountain Men of Wicklow, the ball sailed high and dropped into the waiting arms of Tommy ‘THS on the road now’ Hill. Cue, carnage, mayhem, chaos and screaming, and this was just Hill making his first carry of the game. UCD started sprightly with a vibrant pack being well marshalled by Super Four Veteran no.9 Shane Murphy returning from a sabbatical. This eased the young ten Ross Martin into the game early on, and also allowed St Tropez Reilly to really show off the spray tan in midfield. UCD drew first blood when loyal UCD RFC servant, original Super Four and general enforcer and genius Flanker, Micko ‘Angry?’ Barton pounced on a loose ball off a scrum to score. It wasn’t long until the Super Fours had scored again, St Tropez using the glow off his tan dazzled his opposite number and put 13 Justin’ ‘Time’ threw a gap soft hands nearly put Al ‘Kicker’ Garvey in. The next play saw the wiley veteran Murph break off the back of a scrum and dummy his way over. Jonesy applauded this with gusto, one of the ‘originals’ was his grunt. A penalty from Garvey put the score at half time at 15-0 to Collidge.
Only forty minutes stood between destiny and this plucky side, surely they had too much class to let 15 points slip. W-Enda made their usual engine room change with CUD ‘Kev needed a barrister’ O’Higgins replacing his brother FUD veggie O’Higgins, Micko ‘Yes I’m that tall’ Hurl who had played the best forty in the blue ( one hack waxed lyrical at the ball handling ability of the big man) was replaced by the Fours very own ‘Patrick Wallace’ Keating. With fresh legs in the pack UCD tore back into Rathdrum, they had come to do a job and weren’t letting up. Johny ‘Pikey’ Geelan caused general discomfort for the opposing back-row with some superb carries, ably supported by flamboyant Collidge front row of Kinneally, Barrett and ‘Rocky Balboa Conneally who were offloading like a French back three. Collidge scored again through centre Justin ‘Time’. Then Garvey stepped like Madonna in a music video and slipped his way through for a superb individual effort under the posts, his celebration was rather lame though so some points will be discarded for that. It was Garvey who played a role in the next score again, some superb offloading again by Hill, Connor ‘the judas’ Hussey who had appeared off the bench for the injured Martin. John ‘Simon Cowell’ Lynch (due to his attire) joined the proceedings along with Jack ‘do these shorts fit’ Prendergast onto the wing. A well taken Rathdrum try was sandwiched by two more scores for Collidge. Kev ‘the Camden Street one’ Wynne was wrongly disallowed a try by the ref, who if he had gone to ‘Jedward’ Johnsons camera work would’ve seen the clear grounding of the ball by this Tallaght flyer. As the game wound to a close another academy and perhaps future J4 player entered the fray, Sean Collum at hooker. With the final whistle blowing Greg ‘ Bostons Own Super Four’ Stravinski tore onto the field to embrace his team mates, this just about summed up what the Super Fours are about a squad effort. With the niceties completed a boisterous Yerra Waddie was completed in the centre of Dr Hickey Park. The fours also gained a new sponsor as a bag of unnamed Polish Lager was produced for these athletes to consume. Micko ‘the shorter the short’ O’Shea was first in for these along with the Fours very own Dr Nick Tristan Cassidy. Cue general celebrations ‘Star’ Ward and ‘Krystals Creep’ Breener embraced their team mates, ‘a wonderful sight’ said a tearful Jonesy.
I started writing these pieces saying that the Fours were only a few hurdles away from destiny. Well on Saturday the 20th of March 2010 the Super Fours completed that journey and arrived at their destiny. It may not have been a tangible object a trophy to hold, it was more they had worked for every inch all season. Those inches were promotion, it was to the Fours and their dynamic duo of Coaches W-Enda the goal and it was met. At the press conference on this momentous day Gilligan as per usual stepped into the limelight and flash of cameras. Willie grinned from ear to ear smoking what looked like a Cuban cigar, whilst Jonesy and Enda consumed the remains of Gilligans Dom Perignon. St Tropez spoke to the Xpose girls on the new tanning he was trying and what hair products are best used. Kev ‘The Camden One’ Wynne was whisked away by budding legal eagle CUD to an awaiting car with a curt no comment. Teams are made up of different characters but it is a special bond that brings a team together and this Super Four team has that bond in bucket loads. They’ve fought and scrapped with all that Section D could throw at them, they are now on the road back up, next step Section C. Judging by this lot, Section C better watch out, ‘J4 is going up’.
As per usual Gilligan left us with the final parting shot, ‘The way a team plays as a whole determines its success. You may have the greatest bunch of individual stars in the world, but if they don't play together, the club won’t be worth a dime.’ ‘The difference between a successful person and others is not a lack of strength, not a lack of knowledge, but rather a lack of will’. Yes folk’s destiny was reached by the team from the bottom of the Collidge rugby ladder, and boy did they deserve it.