UCD J4’s vs The Emerald Warriors Tymon Park 20th Feb 2010
The Super Four quest for the Holy Grail of a playoff place was on the road this week for the away trip to Tallaght to take on the Emerald Warriors. The Fours had been given a serious ear bashing by the dynamic duo W-Enda after the previous weeks defeat. Training was said to be vicious and many players had their egos brought down a notch or two. With only a point separating Collidge from third place Unidare, avoiding a potential banana skin in Tallaght was essential. The curse of the Super Fours no.9 shirt continued, with Jack ‘do these shorts fit’ Prendergast filling in at 9 again. The ice-skating injury to Eoin ‘Torvil’ O’Donoghue keeps him sidelined; Wiley old dog Gero was not available either despite a hunt of well known drinking establishments on the Friday evening by Gilligan. The whereabouts of Alan ‘Shoebox’ Shoebottam remains unknown; reports of sightings of the 9 at the Lady Gaga concert on Saturday night are unfounded. They were quickly quashed by legal eagle Gilligan, ‘from our front row seats, neither Gero nor I could make out the silhouette of Shoey pirouetting across the stage with the Diva’. This column will keep you updated on the mystery of Shoey and his whereabouts.
The fours were boosted by the return of Wardy ‘just the one’ at ten, his importance to this teams success is paramount, even if he did have a case of the Garvey’s on Saturday with the boot. In a slightly re-jigged backline, St Tropez Reilly lined out at 15, the wings were made up of Cassanova Kev and the Micko ‘ pull your socks up’O’Shea. The midfield had that ‘Rock’ solid combination of Alan ‘kicking is my forte’ Garvey and Tommy ‘I scored your one from Big Brother in Krystal’ Breen. The pack was slightly re-jigged by the tinker-men of Junior Rugby W-Enda. Bren ‘Rocky’ Conneally was back from suspension, he left the gloves at home for this match. Olan ‘I bloody love Cork boyyyyyyyyy’ Kinneally was also back in the hooking slot. The other side of the scrum was as per usual held together by the vital cog Patrick ‘Einstein’ Barrett, who is now the proud owner of a birds nest on his face. The row was made up of two other stalwarts the O’Higgins brothers, both of whom are also sporting scraggy amounts of so called facial hair. The back-row saw the returning Anto ‘toughman’ Tuffey, Eoin ‘the panther’ McDowell and Micko ‘anger management’ Barton scrum down. This was a game that Collidge unfortunately knew they could win, with no disrespect to the opposition, this resulted in a hit and miss performance. Collidge made hard work of the task, the Warriors tore into a lacklustre Collidge pack from the off. The Fours were extremely lucky to be 12-0 up at the break. Some super hands by boyband Reilly had put the old ‘Lothario’ Kev over in the corner mid way through the half. Just before the break the pack now marshalled by the returning Tommy ‘THS’ Hill off the bench for Tuffey rumbled over the line. Hooker Kinneally staking a claim for the try.
The 2nd half saw W-Enda and Gilligan show their management nous tested to the very boundaries. The two boyo’s on the wings had put in a steady forty before being replaced by a Cambridge 2007 tour veteran Paddy Quinlan and another Erasmus debutant Gregory ‘Bostonian’ Szwinzindinski. The engine room was also overhauled with Evin ‘Paddy Wallace’ Keating and Micko ‘I’m at least 7 foot’ Hurl coming into the action for the O’Higgins clan. Mick ‘Nominee for Fair Play Award 2010’ Barton who had danced a fine line with the ref was also re-introduced into a new jigged back row alongside Hill and the bear Johnny Lynch. It was to no avail though as the warriors struck first with a well worked score down the touchline. Stern words from vice-captain Wardy under the sticks and the introduction of player-coach/diva/maestro Enda O’Connor at 9 saw Collidge actually work their way through a number of phases. Some decent inter-play by the pack, man of the match Boy-band Reilly and ‘Hustler’ Garvey brought the Fours close to the line. Quick hands by ref-loving Barton and Enda stuck Keating over in the corner. Unfortunately the Louis Walsh inspired coach struck one of the worst conversion attempts ever seen at any level. One hack described it as galling as watching someone not hit past the ladies tee-box. This set-back though didn’t seem to affect Collidge too much as they know had the confidence to attack from depth. This was a game-plan that was working well, as more quick hands saw Keating finish in the same corner. Another farcical attempt at goal followed, Wardy and Enda were exchanging glances, Garvey was just grinning from ear to ear for some unbeknownst reason.
Collidge should’ve really put the Warriors to the sword at this stage but instead relaxed and went back into going through the motions. The next score came to the Warriors and it really will leave W-Enda with some stern words about pillar and post at ruck time. 22-12 to Collidge an uncomfortable 20 minutes left to play, thankfully Collidge have players able to take control of sinking ships. No better man than the St-Tropez Boyband Reilly, here is a player that has grown in stature this season. His importance to this team is outlined now that he has played centre, out half and full back this season. He reads the game well and for a man who would put Fatty Henson to shame with fake tan and hair gel he does put his body on the line for the fours. Although not getting on the score sheet, he played a pivotal role in the final two tries another for the Cork man Kinneally. The final try was capped by some super hands and a break by Quinlan who stupidly listened to Tom Hill inside him and should’ve gone for the corner himself. 32-12 it finished, again Collidge looked displeased with themselves. In fairness as Reilly stated in his post-match interview with Image magazine, ‘it shows how far this team has come that it is critical of itself despite scoring 6 tries’. This reporter tried to grab him for a quick word but he was whisked off by the TV 3 Xpose team to do a piece on Tanning before the big game.
W-Enda and Frederick Gilligan ( Who was sporting a Save Willie O’Dea t-shirt) were left to answer the questions regarding next weekends crunch Super Four Colours match. With the Fours looking for that big performance to 1) secure a play-off place and 2) again revenge for an early season defeat to their arch nemesis and rivals the Anglo Loving Trinners, form and confidence is needed by the Fours. This team though as stated in earlier reports can be on their day world beaters, the problem has been they have been unable to produce 80 minutes of such rugby. There is no better game for the real Super Fours to stand up and take their place in Collidge folklore. Come 3pm Saturday we will know if this team are the real deal or not, playoffs and a colours win are beckoning. As always Freddy ‘hyperbole’ Gilligan gave the parting shot, ‘We are still masters of our fate. We are still captains of our souls.’ The road show heads for the penultimate hurdle, the line is in sight.