UCD 16 - 10 Dublin University
The day will forever go down in Super Four rugby folklore, it was a day that Ireland beat England, but for the brave souls in Belfield earlier that day the 27th February 2010 they will forever remember this occasion the Super Fours vs DUFC. Colours matches are a once yearly feature in the University calendar at Senior and twenties level, but at junior level they are a less frequent event. So any chance to come up and take on the auld enemy from the city is greeted with great excitement. Bragging rights are not the only thing at stake, there is history, a lot of history. You see Trinity have had a rather aloof way of dealing with UCD, the ‘other’ University one Trinners aristocrat muttered to another whilst playing croquet on the lawn. In rugby terms the game played on the 27th was as much a game as it was a battle, this was never going to be pretty there was too much at stake. Behind the razz matazz of it being a J4 colours there was also four extremely valuable league points at stake. If these mystical points could be bagged the super fours were almost guaranteed their place in the playoff.
The morning of the 27th was unlike any other for St Tropez Reilly as he rolled out of his rotating heart shaped bed and threw on his leopard skin bath robe. He told this reporter he had a feeling in the bottom of his stomach that he hadn’t even had when he was nominated for ‘Irish Fake Tan Legend 2009’. This was real fear, but the good type of fear. Tommy ‘Krystal nightclub know me’ Breen also awoke with that same fear, and also no hang over. Every Collidge player arrived knowing the magnitude of the task, W-Enda hammered this home with force in the build up. ‘This is a game of inches, we will crawl by our fingernails if need be’ was bellowed in the faces of Rocky Kenneally (who was foaming at the mouth come kick off) and co. The Fours were also handicapped by the loss of two talismatic figures, Fred ‘Fat Cat’ Gilligan and the evergreen Mick ‘Fair Play Award’ Barton. Gilligan was being wined and dined in Twickers by the RFU blazers who were keen to know if the dream team of Junior Rugby Management would be interested in an upcoming role in English Rugby. I’ve been reliably informed by a source close to Gilligan that this was rebuffed once Freddy had motored his way through the champagne and wine and was singing ‘you can stuff your ####### chariots up your…..’. The last sighting of J4’s very own Celebrity Barrister was of him on top of the North Stand singing ‘ I hate Trinity College…..’. This though is for another day. Back in Belfield things were just kicking off as Gilligan was skipping the starters for another bottle of Dom Perignon.
There was a crowd seen like no other in the Belfield Superdrome, the side line throbbed with Collidge fans. Notable mentions must go out the Kwak Krew from the J1 and 1st XV who came down to lend their voices to the cause. Some elder statesmen of UCD RFC also appeared on the sideline and Dave ‘Jedward’ Johnson making a return from the 1950’s judging by the hairstyle of the day. With such support and with the weight of an earlier season defeat hanging over them 15 brave souls led by Tom ‘THS’ Hill entered the field. With the final words of Gilligan’s pre-game satellite link still ringing in their ears ‘Men's best successes come after their disappointments’, the fours tore into Trinity from the self titled Dave ‘Star’ Wards kick off. With Cork man Olan Kinneally and Johnny ‘Braveheart’ Geelan hammering into opposing foes the signs looked good for Collidge. Unfortunately after some indiscretion at a ruck the squeaky clean St Tropez was sent to the sin bin, much to distress of the Xpose crew on the side line. 10 minutes in the bin and ten unanswered points to Trinity 10-0, this most certainly was not in the script. Collidge buoyed by the return of St Tropez started to make inroads into the Trinity 22. Some great pick and drives by the pack, Hill especially was at his manic best, human wrecking ball does not really do him justice as he flayed, kicked, spat and punched his way through Trinity defenders. Fergus ‘Veggie and tofu’ O’Higgins was also in robust form using his bulk to clear prone defenders from the ball. Just before half time Collidge finally got on the board, El Ward knocking over an easy 3. 10-3 at half time, stern words were needed. W-Enda did their usual chit chat and Jonesy added motivational words of J4 wisdom that have been passed on from player to player over the years.
The 2nd half began with Collidge grabbing the game by the scruff of the neck. John ‘Bear’ Lynch was now being used effectively by academy debutant scrummy Connor Hussey as a battering ram. The fact that Lynch is a big as a house meant 2-3 Trinity lady-boys were forced to tackle him at once. These carries were bolstered by the work of Paddy ‘I’m a physics genius’ Barrett and the ever increasingly mental Brendan ‘Ali or Fraser’ Conneally who were smashing everything that moved. For props these boys get through a fierce amount of work, even so it must be said Conneally spends a lot of the time scaring the opposition and his own player’s with indescribable yelps. The comeback was being helped as well that the self proclaimed star ‘Just the one’ Ward had brought his kicking boots with him. 3 from 3 left Collidge just the solitary point down. The sideline sensed it as it grew more feverish and the noise bellowed round the hallowed grounds of Belfield. Garvey the whizz kid barrelled through the centre, Eoin the panther McDowell and his elder brother carried for yards, the Chris ‘Republican for life baby’ White used his yankee football skills to slalom into the Trinity 22. This break left Trinity scrambling quick ball was supplied from Hussey to Ward and onto Garvey who jinked like a gazelle before offloading to oncoming ‘Sex panther’ McDowell, cometh the hour cometh the man, with one step off his left and a rather pantheresque dive towards the line Eoin ‘Panther’ McDowell touched down. Cue mayhem, Barton on the sideline embraced whoever, the subs cavorted with the Kwack Krew and their may well have been a tear in Jonesy’s eye. With Ward knocking over the extras it was now 16-10 Collidge, destiny, victory and maybe not quite immortality were within reach. All the Fours had to do was hold on no tries conceded crucial.
Enter the hush as the clock ticked slowly and Collidge found them pinned back in their own 22, Trinity pressed hard but the blue wall threw body after body at the oncoming attackers. It was like a scene form the Normandy Landings as one Trinity player after another was knocked down by shuddering hits from ‘Paddy Wallace’ Keating, the Cud missile C O’Higgins, Tommy ‘I’m a Smurfit legend’ Breen, the Jolly green giant Mick Hurl and St Tropez to mention just a few. With ‘Star’ Ward now sidelined through the general disregard of his own body to the cause. It was left to the ‘Hustler’ Garvey to clear the lines stuck in their own in goal the ball was dropped, scrum Trinity, 5 yards out. Trinity pressed again, more heroic tacking then a spilled ball, a turn over, a whistle, a final whistle. Cue complete and utter mayhem. The Colours were home, 16-10 UCD Super Fours had landed themselves in a part of UCD rugby history. They had also secured a valuable four points the playoffs were in clear sight. One game remains the only obstacle between the playoffs and the Super Fours, which at the time of writing this piece hadn’t been played.
In the post match press conference, St Tropez Reilly was too busy giving sound bites to Vogue and the MTV to talk to this reporter. We did catch up with Dave ‘Star’ Ward who dedicated this win to hard graft of the pack, ‘those lads really win you games not the backs.’ The parting shot was left to Willie of W-Enda who said he had been given two envelopes by Fred ‘ Taoiseach 2018 campaign’ Gilligan before the Celeb Barrister had set off on his jolly to Twickers. One envelope was if the unthinkable should have occurred (Enda was burning this with his cigarette as Willie spoke, a bottle of Champagne wedged in his blazer pocket) and Trinity had won, the second was the one which was carefully opened, and it was as if Gilligan was in the room. Once again the Fat Cat had the last laugh, as we left Belfield knowing the Fours were nearly at the playoff, we left with this snippet of Yoda like wisdom ringing in our ears, ‘Losers visualize the penalties of failure, but winners visualize the rewards of success’.
P.S
In the time that has elapsed between this game being played and this piece going to print, the Fours secured a play off berth with a solid win 26-5 over Millmount House. This has placed them in promotion relegation playoff versus Rathdrum on the 20th of March in Greystones Dr Hickey Park. Yoda Fat Cat Fred Gilligan provided this sound bite in the build up for this year defining game; ‘Nobody who ever gave his best regretted it’.
Eoin McDowell crosses the line after a great team effort by UCD
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