UCD J4’s vs DLSP Saturday 13th Feb Kirwan Park
After dusting off the typewriter it was felt by this intrepid reporter that a trip to the foothills of the Dublin Mountains was in order. The Super Fours were on the road this week with a mouth watering entrée to the big match later on that afternoon in Paris (more of a damp squib in hindsight). The challengers to the Fours were the table topping DLSP J4 team that resembled a grizzly bunch of misfits from the depths of the Rockies or maybe Stepaside. Either way the physicality and size of this Salmo side was what took this reporter by surprise most. The fours though have never shied away from a physical encounter, Breno ‘Rocky’ Kenneally will vouch for this. Unfortunately as reported last time out, ‘Rocky’ was serving a one match ban. His place was taken by the mighty John ‘this pint looks small in my hand’ Lynch, who has now lined out for Collidge in all 3 rows of the scrum. Further ballast was added to the Collidge scrum, by the fit again Mick ‘Garveys my bitch’ Hurl. Collidge though were dealt three hammer blows in the lead up to this game, as three influential figures at the very core of the Fours were ruled out through injuries. Wardy was nursing a rather strange looking hand injury (Gilligan’s press release has shed no light to the cause of it yet) The THS (Tom Hill Show, to the uneducated) was out through general disregard to his own body in the Unidare match and quite possibly the ensuing celebrations. The biggest loss though occurred late on Friday evening, when scrummy Eoin ‘twinkle toes’ O’Donoghue only just back from a prolonged lay off cried off with a ankle injury. Sources close to the no.9 say he fell in training for his upcoming ice-skating show, UCD on ice, Fred Gilligan could neither deny or confirm this rumour.
So down three players Collidge took to the field with a new look backline, marshalled by St Tropez Reilly at 10. It was with gusto that the fours took to the task chasing the kick off forcing a turn over and through Hurl, Barton, Jason ‘Ulster says Maybe’McAree and hooker Eoin O’Suilleabhan carrying like men possessed brought play into the Slamo 22. This gave Collidge their first attempt at goal, as Salmo slowed ball down at the ruck, much to the annoyance of veteran scrum half Shane ‘Wiley old dog’ Geraghty. ( Gero Senior had been enrolled at late notice in some fat cat drinking establishment near the Four Courts the night before). Garvey the engineering whizz kid, knocked over three points. It all looked to be going to script for the fours, even Enda had shown up this week, he was named on the bench also, more of that to follow. The game quickly moved into the Collidge 22 with DLSP showing their prowess for controlling the games tempo at this level, and quite possibly the ref as well, the Ramon Poite of J4 rugby did Collidge no favours. Salmo couldn’t find a way through the Collidge defence, hits were flying in from all angles. Tommy Breen back from a suspect Smurfit related injury, (sightings have been reported of Breener in Krystal night club with his Z-list celebrity mates dancing), he did though in this game through his diminutive frame into Salmo attackers at will. A smaller Rob Henderson in the 12 channel perhaps. He was ably supported by wingers Jack Prendergast and the Fours very own Dr Nick, Tristan Cassidy. Dr Nick actually had to be replaced due to his commitment, his replacement Yankee Boy White stood up to anything that was thrown down his channel. Even though he had to keep an eye on the sideline as Casanova Kev and those cheeky chappys W-Enda were making alleged moves on the yanks visiting mother. Unfortunately these rumours were met by a ‘no comment’ reply from Super Four Kingpin Jonesy. We think Jonesy may have been smitten by Mrs White.
Anyway I transgress, back on the pitch DLSP managed to level the scores with a drop goal after the road to the line was closed for business by Collidge. Bit like Whiteys mother and the boys on the side line. Unfortunately from the restart DLSP managed to slalom their way back up to the line and scored what would be the killer blow, a 5 pointer in the corner. There was a missed tackle but a name couldn’t be placed on the culprit. Half time came and went 8-3 to DLSP. The 2nd half saw Enda dust off this size 7 dancing boots and come on for a return to Collidge colours at 9. Gero was close to having a hernia after running around like a spring chicken for a solid 50 minutes. The Strawberry daiquiri guzzling player-coach tried to instil some go forward ball by using his pack as runners, but Collidge could not find a way through the DLSP defence. ‘Boyband’ Reilly and his band-mate Breener kept trying to probe gaps but to no avail, every opening was duly closed by a grizzly DLSP player. Breener is used to this though, as it sums up a usual Saturday night creeping on Leeson Street, oh so close but just not closing the deal. Out wide Neil McDowell, elder brother of Eoin came on as Willie looked to break down this Salmo outfit. McDowell is another product of the Ranelagh Rugby nursery Gonzaga, it has produced famous Super Fours such as Cud and his veggie loving brother Fud, not to mention the Super Fours very own physicist Paddy ‘Tyro’ Barrett. Who says rugby players are dumb beer swilling chauvinists….actually I won’t pursue this angle of argument. Hill was smoking and guzzling a beer at this very moment on the touch-line. Further impetus was thrown into the fray by the introduction of Fred ‘fat cat’ Gilligan, the Director of Rugby was playing his 1st game for Collidge in well over 18 months. Some actually say the last time Gilligan played he could fit into a pair of size 36 shorts, was that Under 20’s then? Either way the supremo added his formidable bulk to the proceedings with some big carries. He really likes the contact, could a move into the pack be on the cards, we will keep you posted of any developments.
Unfortunately all this hard work was not getting the fours anywhere and a cheap 3 points was given away at a ruck. 11-3 to Salmo, with only 15 minutes to play. In the closing stages Collidge piled into the DLSP 22 and looked for scores, two penalty attempts drifted against the upright and wide respectively. Garvey left his radar at home unfortunately, but the Fours could not the point the finger at anyone in particular as they were responsible for their own undoing. Garvey it must be said had a fantastic game in defence, and his attacking prowess must be utilised more in future games. This is definitely a team that have a number of gears that they are capable of going up; this was a game where they struggled to get out of 2nd. The Fours learnt the hard way on Saturday with a winning run stretching back to November 2009 coming undone. One should not worry though there are three games remaining; they still sit in 2nd place defending a one point advantage. Destiny, a playoff place and greatness is in their own hands. Next up is the Warriors this Saturday away in Tallaght, and then the big one on the 27th of Feb vs Trinity in Belfield. This side has it within itself to not lose again. The Roadshow came off the road on Saturday in Kirwan Park, but it can be put back on track. The parting shot was left to Gilligan in his post match press conference, ‘Champions aren't made in the gyms. Champions are made from something they have deep inside them -- a desire, a dream, a vision.’ This team might just have that, and they sure as hell haven’t been near a gym, Gilligan will vouch for that!