UCD 55 - 03 Naas
The Geraghty Brothers Roadshow made the always enjoyable trip out to Naas this week on a cold slightly frosty wintery night (minus Shane who had a tea and biscuit date planned with J4 supremo Fred Gilligan).
The lads listened to a veritable feast of, in the words of Mike ‘Excuse me sir I disagree with your decision against my team for what clearly was not an infringement’ O’Sullivan, “absolute choons mate”. After some easily listening and soul searching about the weather, the men from Belfield made way to the pitch area of the rugby ground for the usual short sharp warm-up. The landscape was cold dark and all around murky, front row huddle aside there was some frosty build up on the grass but nothing the students could not handle (without a bit of moaning anyway).
A committed and diligent warm up concluded with college returning to the dressing rooms for the usual jersey putting on ceremony.
Kick Off.
Collidge started brightly and starting off where the concise team run had left off with excellent rucking and pattern play. There was great work in the line-out early doors by part-time Tom Selleck impersonator Mike Cawley and Co. with one particular driving maul gaining many yards with Liam Hyland (who managed to avoid his car breaking down this time by getting a lift and avoiding another “vomiting bug” by staying on the club soda the night before) working hard at the front and swatting all who came dressed in the green and white hoops.
Some neat phase play and multiple cutting runs by full back Terry “My brother broke my speakers” Jones and slick passing by distributor Dan “I can’t think of a good nickname for him at the moment” Clifford saw newly appointed cadet and acting captain Peter “This is the best team I’ve ever played for lads” Condon go over the white wash with the extras added by Terry Jones.
An infringement soon after by Naas on the centre of the halfway lines gave “The Second Biggest Dick in C&E” a chance to increase the lead with a massive place kick which saw the visitors attain a lead of 10-0.
The second 20 minutes of the first half was a bit different to its predecessor with Collidge letting standards slip and allowing a couple of penalties going the way of the home side, providing them with three points in the process.
Half time score: 10-3.
The second half started brightly with the boys in blue (come on you boys in blue) proving that they had listened to the sage advice of Sensei Geraghty. It didn’t take long before a try was scored after some good team play (most likely by Cailbhe Doherty). Some back chat to the ref saw Naas win some penalties and some field position although the Collidge defence held strong and capitalising with a penalty kick by Terry (again) and then punishing some weak defence by scoring another delightful team try (most likely by Cailbhe Doherty again). The conversion was added by “TJ” while there was some excellent sideline work by Lar “Undisputed Clubman of the Year” McKenna diligently hydrating the students while Sean Conway managed to drag himself away from bickering with Neil Foley long enough to provide the kicking tee for the Terenure graduate.
Naas came back honourably from conceding the try but Collidge showed good defence again and some excellent team play saw James “Player of the Year 2009/2010” Murray (who came on for new Argentinian signing Andreas “Lionel Messi” Contempomi) glide majestically over the white wash. Terry “100%” Jones added the conversion (Spoiler: He didn’t miss any kicks).
With ten minutes to go, Daragh “Krystle Swing” Geraghty sent on the heavy artillery in the form of what looked to be a full front row but was actually two props and a centre (Lar “Leinster Cup final Soberest Man”, Cormac “Ah me knee is grand” Kavanagh and Sean “I’m a hooooker” Conway.
Some great attack saw yet another try for Belfield’s finest off first phase with players like Luke “Douche” Hickey and James “Coco Jambo” Hayes making good line breaks. Aprés that, there was one or two knock-ons providing an opportunity for the pack, bolstered by Lar and Kav, now known as Kavlar (<< Kevlar pun) attacking the opposition scrum with such ferocious power that the Naas scrum retreated faster than a fat person upon sight of a salad bar. Collidge were awarded a penalty after a Naas backrow scooped the ball backwards in said scrum, a quick tap and a sublime cross-field kick saw James “Jai ho” Murray collect in the corner and put the final nail in the coffin for the home side.
Game over: UCD 53 – 3 Nass. College Improve to a 7-0 record in this years league season.
Post Match Meal: Soup and sambo’s, sans soup (that means without soup en Francais).
Special thanks to Kieran “The Bull, The Bull, The Bull is on FIRE!” Moloney who was very active on the sideline “for the bays”.
Memorable quotes:
“Jaysus Lar is some man, on and off the pitch” – Bobby “The Disco Inferno” Byrne.
“I am the music MAN-AAAAHHHH, and I can PLAY” – Shouted repeatedly by Mike Cawley.
“What can you play??” – Everyone else.
The award for sexiest accent was awarded to Andreas “Give me my Valuables” Gonzalez Amorosino (just pipping the seductive vocal chords Liam Hyland).
The award for most emotional speech went to Cadet Peter Condon ….for his emotional speech.
Keelan “I wish I was related to Lar” McKenna and Gareth “G” Crotty stayed relatively injury free, which was a welcome change.
The next opportunity to witness some champagne rugby, J1 style is at home on 6/12/2010 (Monday) to Terenure in the penultimate League game before the Christmas Festivities , all support is welcome.
Disclaimer: Some of the events mentioned may or may not have happened. Some events may not have been included due to fatigue of the author.